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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My Heart Aches

About a month ago I shared about the death of a dear friend and what an impact their family has had on our family. Truly amazing people. I have always joked that I want to grow up to be like Sue Riddering and always secretly wondered if it was "too late" and I am not cool enough now to ever grow into something as beautiful as her. Sue took care of her husband through his 12 year battle with Lou Gehrigs disease. She raised four amazing children. Raised them to know and proclaim Christ. She homeschooled them, full-time mom, and was the most amazing, and an honest hostess through it all. She hosted an amazing funeral (sounds weird to say) and reception. She thanked us all for coming and helped us to mourn and laugh. she, her children, her grandchildren and her extended family all went to a cabin to celebrate the holidays together. They spent some great times of fellowship together. My dear friend went in one morning to wake her mom and she didnt wake.

She made sure that I had a baby shower for my fifth baby when two of her children were having their FIRST babies. She hosted the shower so she could attend while caring for her hsuband. I didnt need a shower. I hadnt expected a shower. I was a little uncomforatbel with the whole thing :) She fixed it all. She fixed so many hurts and social situations without ever raising her voice or pointing out that people were being dumb. She just somehow fixed it and made us all the better for it. She made me feel so loved and special and deserving.

I have been crying and crying. I feel like a child who loses their parent in the grocery store. You KNOW that feeling. Frantic. Cant go on or do anything without finding that parent first. I wasnt THAT close to Sue on a daily basis. How do I go to church without Sue? How do we go on? I feel so silly and so selfish when I think of her family and the HUGE loss they are feeling. Practically. Emotionally.

My one Comfort is the assurance of her salvation and that of her husband. They are together. With Christ. I also cry when I think of the grandchildren that were miscarried in this world and now celebrate with there. Together in Him.