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Friday, May 22, 2009

A Time of Mourning and Change

Going to be a rough few days here.....
My husband's grandfather died Thursday evening. He was an amazing man of God in his ninetieth year. There are very few people who you feel you KNOW without any doubt that they are believers and that Christ has a hold of their lives. Grandpa was definitely one of them. We know where he is now and can imagine him running, dancing joking...Talking with C.S. Lewis? Spurgeon? Moses? There is such joy in knowing that he is no longer in pain and all his questions are answered.

We couldn't have planned our night better. We gathered and said goodbye and prayed. Now the hard part begins. My husbands family isn't very close. We live, mostly, in a pretty small radius of each other, yet we don't get together. We don't talk regularly. AND we all get our feelings hurt and feel left out.

How do we figure out what life without Grandpa means? How do we cope and deal with our grief not knowing how to rely on and support each other. These remain to be seen.

I can see God's hand clearly even in this mourning. Each of us has had a time with Grandpa recently to say goodbye and. Hospice came in and gave Grandma an opportunity to grieve and prepare for losing Grandpa.

On a much more personal note--My hormones are wacking out and I need to wean my 10 month old..IMMEDIATELY. He is exclusively breastfed and doesn't want a bottle :)
We were up until 2:30 am on Thursday and in our little home everyones nerves are raw and vulnerable....A lot of crying, unplanned meals, misplaced blame....Then there is the Wedding on Sunday and my husband returning to work. I'm feeling torn in so many directions and left with no support. Will be a long next few days but God is good........