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Friday, May 22, 2009

A Time of Mourning and Change

Going to be a rough few days here.....
My husband's grandfather died Thursday evening. He was an amazing man of God in his ninetieth year. There are very few people who you feel you KNOW without any doubt that they are believers and that Christ has a hold of their lives. Grandpa was definitely one of them. We know where he is now and can imagine him running, dancing joking...Talking with C.S. Lewis? Spurgeon? Moses? There is such joy in knowing that he is no longer in pain and all his questions are answered.

We couldn't have planned our night better. We gathered and said goodbye and prayed. Now the hard part begins. My husbands family isn't very close. We live, mostly, in a pretty small radius of each other, yet we don't get together. We don't talk regularly. AND we all get our feelings hurt and feel left out.

How do we figure out what life without Grandpa means? How do we cope and deal with our grief not knowing how to rely on and support each other. These remain to be seen.

I can see God's hand clearly even in this mourning. Each of us has had a time with Grandpa recently to say goodbye and. Hospice came in and gave Grandma an opportunity to grieve and prepare for losing Grandpa.

On a much more personal note--My hormones are wacking out and I need to wean my 10 month old..IMMEDIATELY. He is exclusively breastfed and doesn't want a bottle :)
We were up until 2:30 am on Thursday and in our little home everyones nerves are raw and vulnerable....A lot of crying, unplanned meals, misplaced blame....Then there is the Wedding on Sunday and my husband returning to work. I'm feeling torn in so many directions and left with no support. Will be a long next few days but God is good........

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18 comments:

Michaela said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss. I was stopping by from SITS, because you roll called above me this morning... eh evening... today.

Good luck with everything that you have going on right now. {{Hugs}}

Amy said...

Oh Kathy, I am visiting from SITS and I am so so sorry for your loss! i lost two Grandpas within 4 months this year. So so tough. I hope that you feel better soon with all that is going on. You sound strong but I know how it feels to feel like you have no support and everything is pulling you apart at the seams. God Bless you and just know that someone is thinking about you and your family and sending positives vibes and prayers your way.

LORI said...

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE, YOUR SITS FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS UP STALKING SOMEWHERE! I WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY PEACE DURING THE AFTERMATH OF YOUR LOSS, AND YOU PEACE WITH THE LITTLE ONE. I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS, THINKING, "HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE ONE MORE DAY OF THIS?" AND SOME HOW, MAGICALLY, IT'S A DECADE LATER...GOD CARRIES US.

Kim said...

I am stopping by from SITS. I am so sorry to hear about your husbands Grandpa. My grandpa was diagnosed with Cancer two years ago this month and has been with Jesus for a year and half. I pray that He comforts you during this time.

Maggi said...

I'm sorry for your loss! You have a beautiful family!

glenna said...

Glad I found your thru SITS. You have a wonderful blog! Beautiful family.

Taryn said...

Kathy:
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Your post touched my heart in so many ways. From this picture and the words you said, Grandpa looks like he was an amazing person! I know what it is like to lose a loved one, and I want you to know that you certainly have my support!!!
I read your comment on SITS Roll Call this morning, and wanted to stop by and say Hello! and give you a (HUG).
SITS has been so good for me too, for so many wonderful ladies have paid me a visit and sent me support in my times of need! It's such a wonderful online community, and I don't know where I would be in the world of blogging without SITS!

You have a beautiful family! Remember if you ever need a friend, I am just a click away! :)

Sending my love to you and your family!

Love,
Taryn

Crunchy Christian Mom said...

Hi Kathy, it's nice to meet you! I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your hubby's grandfather. I hope this time will bring the family closer together.

Hang in there with the baby! I know how hard that is -- only my firstborn ever took a bottle so I could escape, and my 3yo is still nursing. We have to take care of ourselves while we care for our little ones, too. :)

SITS Girls said...

So sorry to heat about the loss of your husband's grandfather.

I know things seem all over the place right now, just take lots of deep breaths and laugh whenever you can..

Tiffany

AB HOME INTERIORS said...

Our worst days can often turn into our best days if it equals change and expands our hearts. God has a road map for all of us and when our Journey ends it touches the hearts of those near and far from us. Through this tough time your family will expand their hearts, remember such thoughts about Grandpa that make you smile, make you cry and warm your hearts. But through this time you will feel the change and expand your hearts, and thus with time you will see this as your worst day becoming a better day, as each day passes.

survivinglifedaily said...

I am here from SITS I saw that you were lonely, so I thought I'd stop by.
I am so sorry to hear about your husbands grandfather, you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers...I'm sorry to hear you feel alone...please know that someone from SITS is always there!
Feel better.

Kathie @ my net finds said...

Hi Kathy, I am stopping by from SITS to say hello. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that your faith can get you through this tough time.

Rocksee said...

Howdy Kathy! Visiting from SITS!

Cairo Typ0 said...

Hi, I'm stopping by from SITS.. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family is my prayers.

*~*a.l.s*~* said...

oh Kathy I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that your family-in-law becomes closer through this tragedy.

Midwest Mommy said...

I am so sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

bj said...

Bless your little heart...it sounds as if your plate is totally full right now. Losing Grandpa, new little baby, raw nerves...oh, my....been there, done that. All I can say for sure is that IT WILL GET BETTER...
Hi, I'm bj and just over from SITS to wish you a happy Memorial Day..
I am also going to pray that your hubby's family becomes closer...

http://www.papermoonies.blogspot.com said...

Sorry for your loss, have a wonderful Memorial Monday deary.
Brittany
http://www.papermoonies.blogspot.com

Blessings