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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Sometimes Life Just Sounds Like a Country Song

Today we attended a tea for Keepers at Home.

My daughter recieved all the badges she has earned since Christmas.

I haven't seen a lot of the moms all year and they asked how I was. I didn't want to say "great" and smile but I also didn't have the energy to explain that in the last week....

Grandpa died.

My hormones comletely wacked out and my milk dried up.

Baby wont take a bottle. Wont take a cup. WONT.

The dog died.

There was so much other drama and relationship drains that I cant even explain.

Im exhausted. I actually slept until 1 pm today. 1 pm. I am not depressed. Honest. I'm just plum worn out. I want, maybe need, a break. From the house, the chores, the demands of people. The crying baby that I can't feed. I'm *suppposed* to make this time make sense for these people and I feel like I can barely keep my own head above water. There are no meals planned. No folded laundry to put away. Nothing is planned and there are 6 people staring at me waiting for a plan.

I can't just throw all this info at anyone asking "How have you been?" It's probably not even good for me to rehash all the emotions. But I also hate sucking it up, smiling and saying "great! how are you?" and then just sauuntering away. I guess I could answer something about how I am very blessed. I know that I am.

For now, I breathe.