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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Sometimes Life Just Sounds Like a Country Song

Today we attended a tea for Keepers at Home.

My daughter recieved all the badges she has earned since Christmas.

I haven't seen a lot of the moms all year and they asked how I was. I didn't want to say "great" and smile but I also didn't have the energy to explain that in the last week....

Grandpa died.

My hormones comletely wacked out and my milk dried up.

Baby wont take a bottle. Wont take a cup. WONT.

The dog died.

There was so much other drama and relationship drains that I cant even explain.

Im exhausted. I actually slept until 1 pm today. 1 pm. I am not depressed. Honest. I'm just plum worn out. I want, maybe need, a break. From the house, the chores, the demands of people. The crying baby that I can't feed. I'm *suppposed* to make this time make sense for these people and I feel like I can barely keep my own head above water. There are no meals planned. No folded laundry to put away. Nothing is planned and there are 6 people staring at me waiting for a plan.

I can't just throw all this info at anyone asking "How have you been?" It's probably not even good for me to rehash all the emotions. But I also hate sucking it up, smiling and saying "great! how are you?" and then just sauuntering away. I guess I could answer something about how I am very blessed. I know that I am.

For now, I breathe.



the monkey's mama said...

Oh Kathy I am so sorry that life is so crazy and sad right now. I have no idea what it is like with more than one kid but if i may be so bold to suggest that perhaps you be honest with the oldest kids that you need their help and then start delegating? Either way, i'm praying for strength and encouragement for you!

Anonymous said...

If anyone needed a 'mental health moment' right now...that's a lot going on. You know what they say-when it rains...

When people ask how you are you could say trapped in a country song!

Much love to you girlie! Here's hoping next week brings better days.

BPOTW said...

I'm so sorry to hear all that is going on. I like Rebecca's suggestion: Trapped in a country song!

Reed Family said...

I was glad to see you at church today. I meant to ask you about the Keepers at Home group. I was wondering if that's something Heidi could do. We can talk about it next time we meet or I'll just email you.

Anonymous said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. You brought tears to my eyes, seriously.


How freakin cute is that cake!Stopping by from SITS!

Kathy said...

I did NOT make the cake. I honestly have trouble with boxed cakes and can't pronounce "fondunt." The amazign cake was made by one of the little girls. She first amde one for her mom for Mothers' Day and then repeated it for us for the tea. What cool friends I have.

glenna said...

Keep on holding your head up and keep blogging. ...I like the country song comment!! :-)

Dejoni said...

They say what don't kill you makes you stronger but sometimes I wonder. Hope things get better for you....the country song analogy was great!!

Cairo Typ0 said...

Hi, visiting from SITS! :)

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. I hope things are getting better for you.

Kris said...

Wow....yeah...I don't know about you but for some reason I usually have issues with my milk drying up between 2-3 months (my daughter will be 2 months old next week!)...even with taking Fenugreek...but I'm hoping!! Sorry you had such a stinky week...just stopping in from SITS...I hope you'll do the same!

edie said...

Oh sweet Kathy,
If I only lived closer, I'd hop into my car and drive right over and we'd do the chores and soothe the baby
and cook dinner together. Or better yet, I'd send you out for a day of pampering and I'd be 'you' for a day. Just hold on. He won't let you drown. His mercy is new.
Love ya and praying for you!