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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Around to it

Today I got frustrated about never having time to do the things that I need to during the day. I have 5 children, including a two year old and a newborn, my husband is also home during the week. I have made a schedule and delegate a lot of chores to others. But it doesnt save me any time because I am constantly answering questions or checking up on the progress of the said delegations. Our house is also very LOUD. I dont get phone calls made, I dont get paperwork done, I dont go anywhere.

There is something that you might not know about me. I had Stage 3 malignant Melanoma removed from my back 6 years ago. I have only had one check up since then and I have some moles on my face and back that have been really itching and bothering me. Doesnt that sound so stupid and irresponsible written down in black and white?

I meant to see the dermatologists every 6 months. Medi-cal would only pay for once a year. Then the health dept didnt have calendars to make appts for 6 months in advance, then I dindt have a car, then I was pregnant and sick, then I had a newborn, then I was pregnant and sick again. Five years went by. How did that happen? Wait! I just told you how it happened.

Now here I am. I called to try to find a dermatologists covered by our insurance because right now I don't have a dime to my name. Seriosuly. I had to transfer my paperwork to a different place that will take effect October 1st, then I have to get a Drs. referral. I am really freaking out though. I found the first melanoma and it was taken care of. Am I pushing my luck now? Did I become paranoid or have I ignored my warning.

I can name so many people who have quickly died from Melanoma. Why would I not take this seriosuly? I dont have my affairs in order for such a thing. I want to see my chidren grow to marurity and fulfill the dreams that we've dreamed for them. Im scared.


Sarah said...

Oh I am so sorry. I hope you are able to get that looked at taken care of if need be. I hope it goes well!

blessings, Sarah :)

Mother of Many said...

I know you are scared, but fear of the unknown is scarier than the truth. With the truth, you have the grace provided to deal with the truth. You need to go, bc you are being plauged with lies of death until you do.

Remember from Romans..."for to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." Easier written I know than faced, but the Lord knows your days, and He knows what's best for your family. Even in the face of crisis He is BIG! Do your part, get on tne phone and get your moles checked.

I'm glad you wrote your fears down, but now you are accountable. I'm going to check on you. Call TODAY friend. K!

Kerri said...

Oh Kathy! I am so sorry that your are facing this. I agree that you need to get them checked out. Are they new moles or old ones? I know I had a mole change after my pregnanc, two kids back, and although it looked BAD it was fine. Apparently your moles can change due to hormones. So there is one possiblility. I will be praying for you!