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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Perspective?


We had a horrible few days here. My hormones are leveling (or something.) My husband bumped his head at the park a few weeks ago. It got stiff. He cant move it and missed 3 days of work. He doesn't have the paid time off for 3 days. We spent money on magnesium and pain killers. I was up all night with him. My older kids had to chip in more than usual and are feeling left out. There are opportunities that we just can't give them and they are noticing. Our van needed brakes. We ran out of money. My son's birthday is next week and he realized that we ran out of money. He felt more and more sorry for himself. Our baby is very very mobile and voicing his every opinion. Everyone was at their worst, everyone was acting up and saying things they didn't REALLY mean. Everyone seemed to blame me. Honestly blame me and voice it. I cried and cried and tried to find an escape route....

A few days have passed. Everyone has talked everything out. My husband's neck has loosened a little. He may be getting laid off. He may be getting further training. So much up in the air. We sought wise counsel and asked for help. We are still eating. We are happy together and joking and laughing--laughing until we are in tears. What changed?

Im getting excited about Fall and thinking about school. I asked around to borrow some curriculium and just may have what I need. I am really really wondering how I am going to juggle the teaching of my older children and nurture and training of my babies AND keep us all fed and clothed and moral. If anyone has any tips, suggestions, words of wisdom they are VERY much welcomed.

We made meatball soup tonight. I have a sourdough starter waiting for me. Life feels good.

It FEELS good. It felt horrible a few days ago. It is both good and horrible. My attitude hasn't changed the situtaion realy hasn't changed much either....Can I explain that? NO.


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8 comments:

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

One day at a time. That's how we have to do it sometimes. We're feeling the financial strain at the moment. One day I feel positive that we'll make it but the next...

Tania (via SITS_

Teresa said...

I can't pretend to know you're going through as a parent with such a difficult financial situation. When i was a little kid, we were very poor. All of our clothes were garage sale clothes, drinking REAL milk was a special occasion (it was usually powdered milk). We didn't get the same opportunities as other kids, but we did have each other. It taught me to appreciate what I have and to maybe find it easier to be humble in life than for some others.

You are doing an incredible job. I think one day your kids will see that. I think by homeschooling them, your children will learn many more morals and will be strong people. If they were public schooled, then I would seriously be worried about those other things.

I have no idea if this is of interest or has already been tried or is even an option, but have you considered the military? That's how my parents handled 7 kids and little money.

Lots of love & prayers...hope you all feel better.

Sbyllek said...

Hang in there Kathy!
I can't offer much advice...I'm only homeschooling 2 of 3 right now, and my toddler entertains herself quite well.
But I will be praying for you guys.
Philippians 4:19

Rose said...

awww man! I hate that you are having a hard time! I think you are a great mom even though I dont know you, You have sacrificed a lot just by home schooling. I really look up to that!

JosiahsMommy said...

You're doing the right thing by seeking wise counsel. This Biblical principle has never failed me yet. I know times are tough but you'll get through it somehow or another. Keep on praying and reading your Bible. The Lord never abandons His children.

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The Momma said...

God's never going to give you more than you can handle! Just always remember that!

I wish I had something super smart to say, but I don't. I think you're doing a fabulous job as a mom, teacher, wife, woman. These are the hard years that you have to tread through to get to the good stuff!

Things will pick up, they have to. Promise!

Amy Lynne said...

It always seems like everything crummy happens all at once. It will smooth out and it will get better, just stop, breathe, and take in each moment. You sound like some peace is coming your way, so things will all fall into place the way they are suppose to! Good luck sweetie!