Sunday, August 2, 2009
We had a horrible few days here. My hormones are leveling (or something.) My husband bumped his head at the park a few weeks ago. It got stiff. He cant move it and missed 3 days of work. He doesn't have the paid time off for 3 days. We spent money on magnesium and pain killers. I was up all night with him. My older kids had to chip in more than usual and are feeling left out. There are opportunities that we just can't give them and they are noticing. Our van needed brakes. We ran out of money. My son's birthday is next week and he realized that we ran out of money. He felt more and more sorry for himself. Our baby is very very mobile and voicing his every opinion. Everyone was at their worst, everyone was acting up and saying things they didn't REALLY mean. Everyone seemed to blame me. Honestly blame me and voice it. I cried and cried and tried to find an escape route....
A few days have passed. Everyone has talked everything out. My husband's neck has loosened a little. He may be getting laid off. He may be getting further training. So much up in the air. We sought wise counsel and asked for help. We are still eating. We are happy together and joking and laughing--laughing until we are in tears. What changed?
Im getting excited about Fall and thinking about school. I asked around to borrow some curriculium and just may have what I need. I am really really wondering how I am going to juggle the teaching of my older children and nurture and training of my babies AND keep us all fed and clothed and moral. If anyone has any tips, suggestions, words of wisdom they are VERY much welcomed.
We made meatball soup tonight. I have a sourdough starter waiting for me. Life feels good.
It FEELS good. It felt horrible a few days ago. It is both good and horrible. My attitude hasn't changed the situtaion realy hasn't changed much either....Can I explain that? NO.